Short End of the Stick
by redwolffclaw
Summary: Shawn and Lassie end up in a bad situation, made worse by the fact that Lassie's pride got in the way of listening to reason, or a psychic vision. Now they'll need to work together to get out. Easier said than done with Lassie's guilty conscience
1. You May Be Right

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is just going to be a fun story I am writing for a friend who isn't feeling all that well and needs a bit of humor.**

**Moondragon23, this one's for you girl.**

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**Chapter 1- You May Be Right**

Carlton Lassiter was having one of those days. Everyone has them at some point, but when you're Head Detective of the Santa Barbara Police Department, those kinds of days are exponentially worse than someone who bakes cakes for a living or cleans public toilets…Well, maybe not worse than the person who cleans public toilets but Carlton's day had been very bad.

He was currently stuck in a small dark room, with his arms stretched back around a support beam, and his wrists were tied to the wrists of one of the few people in the world he couldn't stand to be in a room with for more than five minutes; Shawn Spencer, who was currently on the other side of the beam knocked out cold.

The space he was confined in was very cluttered with old wooden furniture and looked to be part of a root cellar. It was very quiet except for a dripping pipe somewhere. The noise had started to drive Carlton crazy as the drip drip of water echoed through the small space and made it hard to concentrate on trying to get the hell out of there.

Carlton guessed they had been down there for more than a few hours and had no idea if anyone knew where they were, or if their assailants were coming back. With Shawn tied to him and currently being as limp as a sack of potatoes, it was impossible for him to try and stand to get a better look at the place.

He was jolted out of his thoughts by a gasp from behind him followed by a long groan. Shawn had woken up. A few grunts and panicked breaths followed before Carlton heard them even out and knew Shawn had realized where they were and what was going on. A wry chuckle resonated in the darkness before a voice pierced the silence.

"You idiot." Shawn's words were hindered with a nasally lisp.

Carlton was a taken aback. He didn't think he'd ever heard Shawn insult him before. "Well, how was I supposed to know they were armed?" He defended.

Shawn growled in frustration. "Because I _told _you."

"You hid behind a pillar and started an impromptu finger gun fight… with yourself."

"_See_, that's telling you." Shawn huffed and tried to adjust his position.

Carlton winced at the pull on his arms. "Cut it out!"

"Well _something_ on me has to be comfortable." Shawn complained but stopped moving. He groaned again, "Owwww….my face feels like it was hit with a sledgehammer." Shawn whined

"It was a crowbar Spencer."

"I've heard it both ways."

"Shut it!" Carlton snapped. He figured it had been even _less_ than five minutes this time.

The room was silent after that except for Shawn's labored breathing. Carlton almost would have thought Shawn had passed out again if it weren't for the random tugs on his arms.

Carlton pursed his lips. He hadn't meant to be so harsh, especially after what happened. Shawn had probably saved his life by pushing him out of the way and got smashed in the face for his trouble. He hadn't even seen the guy behind him with the crowbar, he'd been too busy focusing on the perp pointing a gun at him.

"Lassie?" Shawn tentatively asked.

Defeated and feeling a bit guilty he decided to bite. "What?"

"We have a problem… I have to go to the bathroom."

Carlton could hear the shame in Shawn's voice. "Do not tell me that right now Spencer! Just, hold it."

A few minutes went by before Carlton cursed out loud.

"You have to go now too don't you?" Shawn pointed out the obvious.

Carlton didn't answer and let the question drop. Shawn was right. He _did_ have to go to the bathroom now, but he said nothing. He hated it when Shawn was right and he'd honestly had enough of Shawn being right for one day.

* * *

**_Earlier that day:_**

"Gus, don't be Michael Jackson's missing glove. If I just come out and _tell_ everyone it would seem pretty suspicious don't you think?" Shawn and Gus walked side by side into the SBPD and as usual they were arguing.

"All I'm saying Shawn is that these guys seem pretty dangerous. If I were you I'd let the cops in on your info now, before someone gets hurt."

Shawn tsked. Gus always knew right were to get him. He knew Shawn didn't want to see anyone hurt. "Fine, but I get to do it my way okay?"

"You know that's right." Gus bumped his fist against Shawn's.

Everyone was standing in the bull pen listening to the Chief talk about the robberies next to the projector. They'd had little evidence to go on but what they did know is that a group of three people in masks were robbing people around town. So far they hadn't used any deadly force, due mostly to the fact that the people they _did_ rob were smart and just handed over the money, but Shawn and Gus had found out otherwise that very day.

The pair had ended up tracking down the perps to an alley, and unfortunately they'd been spotted. After getting shot at as they sped away in the Blueberry, they'd realized just how armed and dangerous the men were. All it would take is for one of the victims to say no and they wouldn't be dealing with a robbery anymore, they'd be dealing with a murder.

Carlton raised his hand. "Chief, these guys are probably just a few punk kids out for a buck. The one victim was threatened with a broken bottle. We should be able to find these guys in no time and put them behind bars where scum like them belong."

Shawn and Gus watched as Juliet's nose crinkled and she gave Carlton a puzzled look. "One of the victims said they were grown men, not kids."

Giving his partner an exasperated look Carlton clarified. "Look, all I'm saying is that these guys seem inexperienced at this sort of thing. They'll screw up and we'll be there to get them." A few of the other officers, Buzz McNab included, nodded in agreement.

Shawn took the moment as his cue to lurch forward into one of the large wooden pillars next to the bull pen. Closing his eyes and making sure he had his patented "pained expression" on he shook his head wildly. "Oh! You're wrong Lassie!" Carlton's eyes flashed with anger, but with his eyes closed, Shawn didn't see it. "I sense they're very well armed!" He opened his eyes and made a gun with his finger, peeking around the corner of the pillar "Look out!" He aimed and made shooting noises with his finger gun.

"Mr. Spencer! Enough!" The Chief scolded but her face softened. "Alright, until we can be sure of their true motives, I am assigning Mr. Spencer and Mr. Guster to the case."

Carlton nodded compliantly but the sour look he gave Shawn meant he was anything but happy to have his thunder stolen by the snarky psychic. _How can this day get any worse?_

He'd just had to ask.

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**END NOTES: There will be at least a few chapters and they will be coming as fast as I can type them in between my longer stories. :)**


	2. There is No I in Team

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I laughed so much writing this chapter. Hope you will laugh just as hard reading it!**

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**Chapter 2- There is no I in Team, but There is an M & E**

Shawn could say the worst thing about their situation wasn't the fact that his nose was broken. It hurt like hell and turned him into a mouth breather for a while, but he'd gladly take a bullet for any of his friends... or even a crowbar. No, it was mostly the fact that Carlton had brushed off everything he'd said all afternoon and it landed them in their current predicament in some dark room in the middle of God knows where.

Sometimes he wondered if he played the fool card too well. It's not like he was a _total_ genius or anything, maybe. He didn't like people knowing how smart he really was because he had this not-so-irrational fear that when people found out, they'd expect too much from him. He was already under so much pressure from his dad, even now, but if the Chief, Juliet, or Carlton knew about it he'd be screwed._ They can't all be like Gus._ He figured, but even his best friend didn't know the half of it.

"Are you awake?" Carlton asked from behind him.

Shawn sighed, and winced at the pain that lanced through his face at the action. "Yeah. I'm awake."

"You haven't talked in the last ten minutes, it's a new record for you Spencer. Too bad no one else is around because they'd never believe me." The sarcasm dripped from Carlton's voice.

Usually Shawn would just smirk at the comment and pass it off but with as much pain as he was in and as horseshit as their situation was, it just made him mad. "You know..." He was about to say something abrasive when he looked up and something on the beam caught his attention. "Lassie. I think I see a way out of here."

"Right. Let me know which one of your _spirits_ told you that one. I've been awake for longer than you have and I haven't seen anything that can help us."

Shawn made a frustrated sound. "What is wrong with you man!? You've been on me all day. Did I wizz in your Wheaties or something?"

Carlton was silent for a moment before he took a breath and asked. "What is it?"

Shawn's eyes landed on a crack a few feet above their heads. "I sense the beam is weak. If we can break it, we can at least move."

"If we break it this whole ceiling could collapse on us." Carlton pointed out.

Shawn mentally weighed the risks. "True, but if we stay here the bad guys could come back and finish us off anyway."

Carlton shifted his position, eliciting a groan from Shawn. "Ease up Spencer, I'm just getting my feet under me." After a few more tugs on his arms the movement stopped. "Your turn." Carlton stated the obvious.

Putting his feet as close to him as possible, he pulled on his arms and heard Carlton curse at the movement. _Payback._ Finally, with some effort, he was able to raise himself enough to get his bright purple kangaroos underneath him. "Okay." He panted. "Ready?"

"One." Carlton counted.

"Two." Shawn prepared for the pain.

"THREE!" Both said at the same time and each bit back their screams as unprepared, stiff muscles moved for the first time in hours.

* * *

**_A lot Earlier that day:_**

"Shawn, why are we here? We aren't even on this case!" Gus protested. "I say we get out of here and find the nearest food truck. I'll buy." He struggled to keep up with Shawn's quick strides. _I can't believe he talked me into this._

Shawn figured Gus must be desperate if he was _offering_ to pay. He usually paid anyway but it was after a lot of threats to cancel his credit cards and never let Shawn near them. "Gus I've figured it out. All of the robberies happen within a five square block area, that means the robbers probably have a connection to this place. It's been ten robberies, that can't be a coincidence anymore." All of the robberies also happened during the day time as well, around mid-afternoon. Shawn looked at his watch, right on time.

Gus rolled his eyes, "Or it means they were smart and picked an area as far away from their hideout as possible so people would _think_ they were staying in their territory."

Shawn paused mid-step. "You know I never thought of that."

"Shawn!" Gus yelled exasperatedly.

"Woah... wait a sec." Shawn put his arm in front of Gus to stop him before roughly pushing his friend's back to the side of a building.

Gus winced, "That was too hard Shawn!"

"SHHHHH! I think someone's coming." Shawn peeked around the corner and saw a dark blue truck pull up. He looked for the license plate but it had been spray painted black and even with his pristine eyesight he couldn't make out the numbers. Whoever it was, they sure wanted to hide their presence. "Gus! I think that's them!" Shawn exclaimed excitedly.

"Right Shawn. We just pick a random block based on your half-baked theory, and run into the bad guys." Rolling his eyes Gus peaked around the corner as well.

Two men in black masks exited the vehicle and a moment later a third joined them.

Gus stared open mouthed before he turned back to see Shawn's smug smile. "Dude, you've got problems."

"You can't handle the greatness that is _ME."_ Shawn replied proudly. He'd always gone with his instinct and it served him well, most of the time.

Glancing around nervously Gus pulled on Shawn's sleeve. "Okay, it's them, can we call the cops now?"

Shawn shrugged him off. "We have to be sure. Technically they haven't done anything illegal yet."

"I'm not going to wait around until they do Shawn!"

"Would you shut up they'll hear you!" Shawn smacked Gus in the arm.

"Suck it Shawn." Gus pushed Shawn.

"You suck it!" Shawn pushed Gus harder and before long they were in a full out slap fight.

"Ow stop!"

"You started it."

"No... but I'll finish it!"

"Ah! Indian burns aren't fair!"

"What are you going to do about it?"

"This!"

"Gah! What is wrong with you?"

"What was that?" One of the robbers asked and three heads turned to the corner where Shawn and Gus where fighting.

Both men pulled their heads back and stood very still, feeling like idiots for forgetting they were staking out a bunch of bad guys.

"Let's check it out, we can't have anyone calling the cops." Another voice said and footsteps started walking towards them.

"_Run!"_ Shawn whispered urgently and the pair took off down the side of the building.

The robbers must have heard their footfalls because their own steps sped up. "Hey!" They heard one yell and Shawn chanced a glance back as one of them leveled a gun in their direction.

Letting out a high pitched scream Shawn picked up the pace, pushing Gus in front of him to make him go faster. "Gun!"

Gus looked back himself and also began to run faster. "I'm going to kill you Shawn!"

Shawn scrambled around to the passenger's side and, wondering why no shots had been fired yet, looked up. The potential shooter and another robber were arguing about the shot being heard while another, more larger robber was still sprinting after them. "Get in the car! Get _in_ the CAR!"

"I'm trying Shawn! I don't work well in stressful situations!" Finally getting the car unlocked both of them hopped in the vehicle. The man was almost on top of him when Gus started the ignition and sped away.

Shawn gave one last look back at the robber before turning to Gus with an exhausted smile. "Wooo. That was close wasn't it?"

Gus gave his friend a disgusted look and shook his head, wanting to smack the grin right off Shawn's face. He'd almost gotten them killed. Again. He gave Shawn the silent treatment all the way to the SPBD. Still managing to give Shawn the "stink eye" Gus asked, "So what's the plan?"

Shawn's face sobered. "We need to tell Jules and Lassie. They aren't expecting those guys to be armed. If they find them, they could be walking him into a lot of trouble."

"What are we going to tell them." Gus asked, "I'm sure as hell not telling Juliet that we were almost shot by their suspects. She'd kill us."

"That she would buddy." Shawn nodded in agreement. "I'll just have a psychic vision leading them to the area and maybe they can get some evidence."

Gus was having second thoughts. "Maybe you should play this one straight Shawn. If you say you saw the weapons _psychically_ they might not take it as seriously as they should."

"Gus, don't be Michael Jackson's missing glove..."

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**END NOTES: The flashbacks do bounce around a bit but I hope the little snippits of what happened before Shawn and Lassie were captured fill in the gaps nicely.**


	3. A Stick Up

**AUTHOR'S NOTES: This one came pretty slowly for some reason but I loved the result and hope you guys do too.**

**Thanks so much for the great reviews!**

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**Chapter 3- A Stick Up**

It took a minute for both men to recover their bearings. Their sore muscles had been stretched almost beyond human capacity for hours. "Son of a _bitch._" Carlton hissed through clenched teeth as circulation returned to his arms.

Unexpectedly, Shawn's weight dropped and it started to drag Carlton to the floor again. Thinking quickly, he leaned sharply forward and propped Shawn up with his back to the beam. "Spencer what the hell?" When he received no answer, he pulled Shawn harder, trying to get the other man to stay upright.

A cracking noise caught Carlton's attention and he looked behind him. Even in the darkness he could see the beam was no longer straight. With both his and Shawn's weight on the wooden beam it had started to crack, just like Shawn said it would. "Aw hell." Carlton whined before the beam completely gave way.

Carlton flew forward and landed face down on the ground, and both Shawn and the beam landed on his back, twisting his right wrist at an odd angle. The crunch of broken bone accompanied the unwanted weight. He cut back his scream of agony by biting his lip till it bled.

The jolt of the fall must have brought Shawn back to consciousness because the next thing he heard, and the last thing he _wanted_ to hear after breaking his wrist, was a half conscious Shawn slurring, "Lassie, d' that big stick jus' come outta yer ass?"

Taking deep breaths through his nose, Carlton resisted the urge to curse out the obviously concussed psychic. He should have known it before. Shawn would have been extremely lucky to take a crowbar to the head and _just_ have a broken nose. Now he'd have to keep Shawn awake and talking. Joy.

"Spencer! Spencer, are you awake?"

"Why am I on my back?" Shawn's voice was still nasally, but at least it sounded like he was coming around a bit.

"The beam broke. Can you roll over and get the hell off of me?" This was going to hurt but there was no way he was going to be able to stand with that much weight on his back.

"Aye aye, Captain..." Shawn groaned loudly and Carlton felt himself turning to his side. He held his breath till Shawn stopped moving. Luckily, his broken wrist wasn't the one smushed to the floor.

"Are you okay?" Carlton was surprised to hear concern in Shawn's voice. Apparently he'd tensed up and given away his injury.

Carlton grumbled out, "My wrist broke when we fell." He avoided saying, _"When you fell on it."_ Guilt wasn't going to help anyone at this point. It _sure_ wasn't helping him.

"Okay," Carlton started to position his arm. "Let's try to push up and try to get standing. Once we get this beam out from between us, moving will be a lot easier."

Taking his cue from Carlton, Shawn began pushing up with his own arm. "You know *grunt* how I like it when you take charge like that."

Carlton rolled his eyes at the comment.

Soon enough they were able to finally stand and maneuver the thick beam out from between them, earning a few slivers on their arms along the way. Once upright they had a better view of the room they'd been imprisoned in, albeit mostly a shadowy view. Carlton's first impressions had been right, it was some kind of cellar. The beam they'd been strapped to had been the center load bearing beam but there were a couple other smaller ones so it wasn't unstable as he first thought. Old wooden chairs and other objects cluttered the area and a few had been smashed when the beam came down.

"Where are we?" If Carlton didn't know better he'd say there was fear in the psychic's voice. "By the looks of it we're in some sort of dank, chair… graveyard."

Carlton shook his head, even though he knew Shawn wouldn't be able to see it. What Juliet saw in him he'd never know. "Spencer, I'm trying to concentrate. If you want to help, _divine_ a way out of here."

It was hard to see. There was a tiny bit of light coming through the cracks in the floor but it only created an eerie glow that cast shadows. He remembered coming through a door, down some stairs when they brought him here. The detective never saw their faces though, not once, the whole time they'd man handled him and dragged Shawn down there. He wondered if Shawn would have been able to do something, had he not been knocked cold saving his ass.

A few resounding cracks sounded from above them and Carlton's attention was directed upwards. Someone was above them, and that someone was armed.

* * *

**_Not so much earlier that day:_**

Carlton did his best to follow Shawn's instructions to the place where he said the thieves were operating, but like most of the psychic's "visions" they were full of idiosyncrasies that eluded and frustrated the hell out of him.

Shawn closed his eyes and struck his psychic pose. "I see a set of blocks! Building blocks? No! Street blocks! Yes, all the robberies happened within the same few blocks! The robbers have to be operating out of that area."

Getting impatient, Carlton griped, "You should already know that Spencer, you've seen the file."

Shawn pouted and looked at the head detective. "I don't control what I get Lassie. I am a slave to my visions. It's not my fault the spirits seem behind the times. Just last week they were surprised by the invention of sliced bread. Who knew?"

Carlton glanced over and saw his partner frown at her boyfriend, but her eyes sparkled with humor._ Give me a break._

There was the sound of an "Ow." From the back seat and Carlton looked in the rearview mirror to see Shawn glaring at Gus. His eyes narrowed as he tried watching the road and watching the short whisper fight in the back of the car consisting of broken sentences and head nods.

"I'm getting something else!" Shawn exclaimed.

"What is it Shawn?" Juliet turned to face him.

"There are three robbers, they're wearing ski masks and driving a dark blue four door truck, which is actually pretty dangerous because those masks really mess up your peripheral vision."

Usually, that was his partner's cue to exclaim how great her psychic boyfriend is and how specific the information he gave was, but for some reason the last couple of months since their subsequent falling out and making up, Juliet had been a lot more reserved about Shawn's revelations. As opposed to when they were first dating, when she had agreed with practically everything the psychic had said.

Shawn continued, "The _spirits_…" Carlton saw Shawn glare in Gus' direction. "Just wanted me to make sure you knew these guys were armed."

"Okay, we got it Spencer, they're armed." He was really not expecting much. Shawn did end up being right most of the time, but to Carlton, his track record seemed a bit iffy when it came to first accusations so he'd learned to take them with a grain of salt. Or in this case, a few shakers full of salt.

Carlton continued to drive around the area when they spotted a vehicle matching the description Shawn had given sitting outside a dive restaurant. "I'll be damned." Carlton pulled up and stopped the car. He and Juliet got out, pulling their weapons and surveying the area carefully. Shawn and Gus each tried their doors but being a police vehicle, they had automatically locked.

He had every intention of ignoring the pouty looks from both grown men in the back seat, but the Chief had put them on the case as well, so he let them out.

"Thanks Lassie." Shawn bounced out.

Carlton got down to business. He still didn't want to believe that just because Shawn said the robbers were driving a blue truck, that this one was it. _There are plenty of blue trucks in town. _Even as he saw the blacked out license plate, he still was hoping Shawn was wrong.

It wasn't that he _wanted_ Shawn to be wrong all the time, just once and a while he wanted to prove that good police work was better than the psychic's hocus pocus. It didn't help that the Chief kept putting them on case after case. He was glad that the cases got solved, but once and a while he wanted the cops to get the collar.

"Carlton!" Juliet hollered to get his attention.

"What O'Hara?"

She gave him a calculating look. "You okay partner?"

He grinned and nodded sarcastically at her. "_Peachy_."

"Uh huh," She could apparently sense his frustration with the situation, but decided not to comment. There was a reason they worked well together. "I'll head around the other way." Juliet knew the drill. Hit them from both sides and they had nowhere to run. _If_ they were even the robbers they were looking for. "Shawn, Gus. Stay here."

"But-" Shawn started but Juliet had already turned around and headed to the other side of the building. Before turning around Carlton saw the concern on his face for his girlfriend, he did respect Shawn for how much he cared for his girlfriend.

Carlton turned around and headed down the alley side, sticking close to the building. He didn't see anyone sitting in the truck so he ignored it for the time being. Inching closer to the door he was startled when someone in a black mask, gun drawn, stepped out to meet him.

"Drop it cop." The gun was leveled right at his head and there was no chance of bringing up his own weapon.

His training kicking in he raised his hands in surrender. Juliet would be coming around the corner any minute, all he needed to do was stall. "Okay, just calm down. No one here wants any trouble…" He said the words he was trained to do but all he wanted to do at that moment was raise his gun and shoot the man in the face. Repeatedly.

The robber's voice turned dangerous and he cocked his pistol. "Drop the gun, now."

_Damn it where's O'Hara?_ Carlton started to bend over and put his gun down. He heard a shout from behind him and a sharp crack as Shawn cried out and crumpled to the ground motionless.

Everything happened way too fast after that. Hearing Shawn's injured cry, Carlton didn't put his gun down. He instead rolled and put his back to the wall, covering the downed man. He saw what had caused Shawn's injury, which consisted of a bloody face and probably broken nose. Another masked man had started to sneak up on him and was about to hit him in the head with a crowbar. Something like that would have most likely killed him, but they must have figured their only chance to escape had been to coup de grace the one cop they knew about and make a run for it.

The armed robber watched Carlton's protective action and moved his aim from him, to the helpless Shawn. "Your friend is about to get a bullet in the brain. Hand the gun over."

Defeated, Carlton growled and handed the guy with the crowbar his gun. "You guys are gonna pay for this."

Even through the mask Carlton saw the robber smirk. "Yeah, right. Now move." He gestured with his gun towards the truck, which hadn't been as empty as Carlton thought. There was one other robber inside and that must have been where the crowbar guy came from as well. They must have seen his car pull up and ducked into the seats.

Carlton sent his Shawn a silent apology as the criminals quickly loaded them into the truck just as Juliet and Gus came around the corner. Carlton figured Shawn probably sent Gus to warn Juliet when he saw what was about to happen.

"SHAWN!"

"CARLTON!"

Their partner's shouts reached his ears through the roar of the speeding engine and the shouts of the armed robber screaming at his accomplices to get the hell out of there.

Guilt chewed up Carlton's insides. He'd made a rookie mistake because he got cocky and hadn't believed the situation was all that serious, just because the information came from Shawn. The psychic had been the one on the ball the whole time, and now he was paying the price and they were being taken hostage by a trio of criminals who were taking them God knows where.

* * *

**END NOTES: More of the story is revealed! I was getting frustrated trying to figure out a title for this chapter, when the perfect one just popped into my head. *Laughs sinisterly***


	4. Bustin' Out

**AUTHOR'S NOTES: :) Sorry for the delay, but it was for a good reason. Made This Way is finished! Just needs to be beta read. Will post it asap but until then, enjoy!**

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**Chapter 4- Bustin' Out**

Shawn's head snapped upwards towards the familiar sound of a .38 Colt going off. He instantly regretted the action as his head throbbed and threatened to make him pass out again. As it was he stumbled back a little jerking Carlton's broken wrist.

The detective didn't make a noise but Shawn could almost feel the glare as he turned his head towards him as much as he could. "Sorry dude." Shawn looked and spotted a door in the darkness. "We need to get out of here before they come down here."

"And how do you suggest we do that Spencer? The door they brought us in doesn't have a knob on this side, and I'm pretty sure it's oak, so it will be a bitch to break down."

Shawn looked at the door and thought a moment. "We need to get out of these ropes. If we can both kick the door, it might just break."

Carlton nodded. "We'll have to make it fast. There's no way they won't hear that."

He tried to think of something. There was no way they left him his knife, so that was out. Suddenly, he got an idea. "Lassie, can you reach in my back pocket?"

"There is no way on God's green earth that I am reaching in your pants."

Shawn growled in frustration and reached for his own pocket, making sure to use the hand that was not connected to Carlton's broken wrist.

"What the hell are you doing?" Carlton yanked his arm back.

Shawn pulled his own arm, "I'm trying to get us out of these ropes. Stop pulling!"

Finally, Carlton's arm seemed to go slack and Shawn was able to get a couple fingers on his wallet. It dropped from his grip as soon as he pulled it out. "Damn it."

"Great job." Carlton deadpanned.

"Can it Lassie, we're going to have to kneel down for this anyway." Shawn started to kneel and Carlton was forced to do the same. He grabbed his wallet and felt around for what he was looking for. "Got it!" He exclaimed.

"Got what?" Carlton asked curiously.

Shawn maneuvered the little packet he'd grabbed and was able to tear it open one handed. "Turn your wrist upwards." Carlton listened and Shawn squeezed the contents of the packet out on their bound hands. "I always keep a packet of baby shampoo in my wallet remember? Depending on what the rope is made out of, we should be able to slip out." He wiggled his arm around, trying to spread the slippery soap more on their wrists.

"Only you would carry around shampoo in your pocket."

Shawn figured he'd take that as a compliment. "Okay, straighten your hand. Get it as flat as you can and pull… GO!"

Both men groaned with the strain, but their hands began slipping apart. Shawn twisted his arm and gave one last good tug before his hand slid out of the ropes, taking a bunch of skin with it. Shawn looked at his hand, it was bleeding slightly but wasn't too bad, unlike his head, which had started to pound again from the exertion, causing him to pitch forward and gag from the nausea. Strong arms helped him off his knees and he was able to stand.

"Holy crap Spencer." Shawn saw Carlton had gotten a look at his face. It was dark, but he supposed the detective was finally able to see the deep crimson blood that had dried all over him.

Shawn snorted, trying to seem manly. "It's just a flesh wound."

Carlton rolled his eyes just as two more gunshots went off again, causing them to flinch. "Why didn't they take your wallet?" Carlton asked curiously. Apparently they had taken the detective's gun and other police issued items along with his knife.

The answer wasn't all that good to think about. "They didn't take it from me because they were planning on coming back later, and didn't think we were going anywhere. They're probably planning on killing us."

"Sons of bitches." Carlton growled, and began trying to untie the rope binding their other hand. "The knot won't budge. We'll have to cut it."

"At least we can get to the door." Shawn shrugged. They approached the big wooden door. It looked heavy but his dad had always said a door's weakest spot was its lock.

_"Never kick a door in the center Shawn. Always on the side."_

After taking a deep breath and riding out another bout of pain, Shawn turned to Carlton. "Were you awake when they brought you in?"

"Yeah, but they put one of their masks on me backwards so I couldn't see anything." He paused for a moment. "There were stairs coming down right before we went through the door. Does that help?"

"That works." Shawn put his hand to his head and pointed to the door. "I sense we should kick right here."

Carlton nodded in agreement and lined up for the kick. "Okay, we gotta go fast. Surprise is our best weapon right now and-"

A barrage of gunshots sounded from above them. One right after the other and muffled yelling.

Shawn winced. "And The spirits are telling me that we need to hurry."

Carlton gave him a fake innocent look, "Oh, the spirits are saying that? I thought it was the semi-auto gunfire that would give you that clue!"

"Maybe, I can't be sure." Shawn covered for himself. "Concussions make my psychic signals go haywire."

Carlton twisted to look at him, "We are in a life or death situation here Spencer. Could you, for once, be serious?"

"Well could you, for once, listen to me without the attitude?" Shawn spat back.

"I would if you actually did some real police work now and then and stop flailing around like a dying walrus every time you tell us something!"

Shawn was affronted. Everything he did was real police work but he could never tell anyone, and it was Carlton's fault in the first place, not like he could tell him that either. "Look man, you can hate me and my methods all day. That doesn't mean I'm not useful and it _doesn't _ mean I don't respect what you guys do as officers... especially ones with strong Irish hair lines." His vision started to blur over again and he grabbed onto the wall with his free hand to steady himself. "Now before I pass out again, lets kick this door's ass and get the hell out of here, agree?"

Carlton frowned and pursed his lips. It was the Sour Patch Kids look he gave when he felt bad about something, but was trying really hard not to show it. "Okay, let's go."

"That's the spirit partner." Shawn smirked as they lined up for their kick.

The Sour Patch Kids look changed to the sucking on lemons look. "Don't ever call me partner."

They cast one last glance at each other and in synchronicity, kicked the door.

Splinters flew as the lock gave way and both men charged up the stairs. There was another door but it was already slightly ajar and exploded outwards through their combined weight. Their ferocious battle cries were cut short when Carlton, who led the way, stopped unexpectedly causing Shawn to crash into him. The momentum sent both tumbling to the ground with shouts of pain from their various injuries.

A stinging pain suddenly hit their sinuses and burned their eyes as they toppled. A smoke was hanging in the air and it sent them into fits of coughing. "Ahh! *cough cough* God I'm blind!" Shawn yelled writhing from the floor.

"Get *cough* your ass out of my face!" Carlton yelled pushing on him.

Shawn blinked and forced his aching eyes open. He was sure the blurriness in his vision wasn't just from the smoke. He must have hit his head again too. The haze cleared a bit and he realized there was a barrel of a rifle pointed at his head. "Oh Crap."

* * *

**_A little bit earlier that day-_**

"SHAWN!"

"CARLTON!"

Juliet and Gus started to chase after the robbers that had just kidnapped their partners. They didn't take more than a few steps before someone in the back started shooting at them. Gus screamed and had to be knocked out of the way by the more experienced detective.

"Uhhg!" Gus hit the wall of the alley hard and spun around just in time to see Juliet throw herself at the wall too. Instead of hitting the wall though, she hit Gus, sending both of them to the ground with Juliet on top of him.

Juliet, still in cop mode, took out her gun and pointed it at the vehicle, aiming for the tires but it rounded the corner before she got a safe shot off. "Damn it!"

"Uh, Juliet. Could we not tell Shawn about this." Juliet looked down and her eyes widened in embarrassment. She was practically straddling Gus.

Rolling off quickly, she started running for Carlton's car and the radio inside. Someone had just stolen her boyfriend and partner. She'd be damned if they were getting away that easy. "Gus c'mon!"

Recovering, Gus got up and ran full bore after Juliet, passing her half way down the alley and making it to the car first. He may not be able to do any fancy moves or shoot all that well, but if there was something he did well physically, it was run.

He grabbed the radio, "Hello! Hello! Mayday! Police kidnapped!" Then Juliet was there ripping the radio out of his hands and pushing him over to the passenger's seat.

While buckling up and pulling an impressive U-turn, She radioed the situation to the station. "We have a 207 in progress. Detective Lassiter and Shawn Spencer have been taken by a blue Dodge four door pick up with a blacked out license plate heading down towards State Street. Be advised, the suspects are armed and dangerous. In pursuit."

Juliet slammed the radio down and focused on following the truck. It weaved in and out of traffic but the trained pursuit driver kept on them, that was until a semi pulled out right as the truck zipped around it. "No!" She pounded the steering wheel and ignored Gus' wide eyed look of horror. He'd never seen her like this.

By the time they got back around the semi, the truck was gone. Juliet grabbed the radio again. "We lost them off of De La Vena Street, dispatch anyone you can, be on the look out!"

Gus saw that Juliet was starting to breathe heavily, her adrenaline was wearing off and her breaths were turning into sobs. He had to do something to keep her head in the game. "Hey, they won't go far. That building wasn't a mark, Shawn said they had a hide out around here, that must be it. If we find who it's registered to, we might be able to tell where they are going."

Juliet looked up, light coming back to her eyes. "That's right! Good thinking Gus!" She made another U-turn and again radioed in the new information. Hopefully they'd have the names they needed very quickly so they can track them down and get her men back.

* * *

A half hour later, Juliet found the building was registered to a David Voleur. He also owned a cabin outside of Goleta, the same direction they were traveling when they lost the truck.

"I got it, let's go!" Juliet grabbed the paper with the address and headed for the door. Chief Vick was hot on their heels, as were five other officers including Buzz McNab. If the place ended up being where the thieves went, they'd have to go up against the best the SBPD had to offer.

It took only fifteen minutes to get out to the cabin, sure enough the familiar blue truck was parked outside. The officers, directed by the chief, spread out, putting their cars between them and the house, just in case things got ugly.

The thieves must have noticed them pretty quickly, because it hadn't been more than a few minutes before they took some pot shots at the cars, causing the officers to duck down. The cops returned a few shots.

"Hold your fire!" Chief Vick hollered at her officers. "We don't know where the hostages are yet!"

The police stopped shooting, so did the robbers. They were at a stalemate.

Two hours later, nothing had changed except the air had become more tense and the officers, including Juliet, were getting antsy.

"We have to get in there. They're probably doing something horrible to them right now." Gus was still ducked behind Juliet's cruiser and saw the despairing look in her eyes again.

"Yeah, they probably have them in the same room." Gus gave her a sad smirk, showing he was joking and trying to break the tension. "It'll be okay, Shawn will be out and asking for a smoothie soon enough."

Juliet gave him as sad smile back, "Thanks Gus."

Chief Vick walked up and bit her lip in worry. It was a very precarious situation and Gus figured knowing it was two of her own detectives in the house probably didn't help matters. "Okay, we're going to send two guys in to get a look and see if they can tell if Lassiter and Mr. Spencer are in immediate danger. They haven't tried to contact us at all so we can assume they don't want a ransom."

Gus' face fell. If they haven't asked for anything yet, it wasn't a good sign for his friend.

They waited tensely as some cops in riot gear snuck up the blind side of the house and peeked in the windows. Gus saw them make a few signs with their hands, Juliet and the Chief seemed to know what they meant and Juliet translated it for him.

"There are three perps in the house. They can't see Shawn or Carlton." The officers made another sign and started unclipping something from their belts. "They're sending in tear gas to draw them out." Juliet set her jaw and grabbed a bullet proof vest and gas mask from one of the cars. "I'm going in." Hesitating for a second more, she grabbed another set of gear and handed it to Gus. "Let's go get them. Stay behind me."

_Finally, storming the castle. _"You know that's right." Gus agreed. He couldn't sit and wait anymore. Shawn wouldn't have waited this long to get him.

The officers tossed the canisters through the glass and slinked back the way they came out of the line of fire. "Everyone stay back!" Chief Vick yelled. In her experience, there were only a couple outcomes after tear gas was used. They either came out or they started shooting, a lot.

Two people came out the door with their hands out, coughing and sputtering in the gas, but the other did not want to give up so easily. He stared to shoot blindly, bullets ricocheting every which way.

The shooting stopped temporarily. "Go go go!" Chief Vick shouted, taking the opportunity to get her officers into the fray. They grabbed the surrendering robbers and continued into the cabin after the last man.

"Hands in the air!" Juliet aimed her gun at the man who was trying to put another clip in his gun while unable to see. The man reluctantly raised his hands.

A crash came from below them causing most of the officers to turn and level their weapons at the sound. Loud screaming war cries ascended what had to be stairs on the other side of a door. The officers acted quickly and took up position just as the door slammed open and two familiar men flew out of it, falling over each other in the smoke and confusion.

* * *

**END NOTES:**

**:) You didn't think the guys' partners would stay idle did ya? **

**Just the epilogue next. Hope there was enough whumping for everyone in this one.**


	5. Short Endings

**AUTHOR'S NOTES: Well guys, this is it. I had a lot of fun doing a bit of comedy and hope you enjoyed it too.**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews!**

* * *

**Chapter 5- Short Endings**

For a few moments it was bedlam. The smoke was still pretty thick and the officers were very jumpy after the gunfight so when the two men unceremoniously tumbled into the room, a lot of guns pointed in their direction.

"Ahh! God, I'm blind!"

"Get your ass out of my face!"

The officers moved in closer, keeping the unidentified men in their sights.

"Oh crap."

Juliet lowered her weapon, recognizing the voice. "Hold your fire!" The officers stepped back allowing the men some room to get up, which they weren't doing very quickly.

Carlton groaned and clutched his broken wrist to his chest, which in turn grabbed Shawn's arm still tied to him with it. Shawn didn't react though, it seemed he was having enough trouble struggling to stay conscious.

Buzz's strong arms reached down and helped the two of them up but Shawn chose that moment to go completely boneless and almost drag Carlton to the floor again.

"Shawn!" Gus lunged and grabbed Shawn before he hit the ground.

Shawn's eyes popped open a bit more and he saw the gas mask on his friend. Giving Gus a half-cocked smile he slurred out his best Dr. Who impression. "Are you my mommy?"

Gus chuckled, knowing that if Shawn still had his sense of humor, he'd be okay.

Juliet approached and cast a worried look at her boyfriend, but knew Gus had it covered, so she went to Carlton. He and Buzz were struggling to untie his and Shawn's connected hands. She wondered how hard it must have been for them to get out of there by themselves like that.

"Carlton, hold still." She grabbed a knife from one of the other officers and carefully cut the two men loose.

"Thanks O'Hara." Carlton rubbed his wrist and looked around at the other officers nodding his thanks.

It seemed weird to Juliet that Carlton wasn't reacting to the teargas as strongly as Shawn was and she was almost afraid to ask, but her natural curiosity got the best of her. "Why aren't you coughing?"

Carlton opened his mouth to answer but Gus, who had been listening in, cut him off. "Lemme guess, you've been secretly ingesting teargas to build up your immunity?" Gus had not believed him when the detective had said that about chloroform. Three hours later when Gus woke up, he believed it.

"_No._" Carlton curled his lip. "I'm just not breathing as deeply. That's all."

"Either way we need to get you guys out of here." Juliet took Carlton and Gus and Buzz grabbed Shawn and escorted them out into fresh air.

Juliet cast a glance back and in the fading sunlight saw how out of it and injured her boyfriend really was. She'd get some flak about it later, but she was definitely going to get him to the waiting ambulance. "How is he?" She asked Carlton.

The detective followed his partner's gaze, "He's had some periods of lucidity, but other times-"

"Stop trying to squish my face Shawn! We need to get you to a hospital." Gus complained and swatted his friend's hand away.

Shawn's arm dropped limply and he turned to Buzz on his other side, "I have one question for you, does this hospital you speak of have a bathroom?"

"I see." Juliet frowned, watching the scene.

Carlton shook his head. "Let's get him and my wrist taken care of, then you get to tell me what the hell happened and how you found us."

"I'd ask the same thing partner. That must have been some escape." Juliet gave Carlton an affectionate shoulder bump without thinking of his injury.

Carlton flinched, his broken wrist throbbing again. "OW! Geez O'Hara."

"Sorry!"

* * *

**_Two Days Later:_**

_"A routine bust turned into a heroic escape and rescue as two Santa Barbara detectives were taken hostage by the very criminals they were trying to catch. We have the exclusive story, with interviews, tonight at seven."_

Carlton glanced up at the TV with a glower. He wondered how much the media was going to spin what actually happened in that cabin. They always seemed to blow things like this out of proportion, mostly for the entertainment value.

"Heroic escape." He scoffed. Truth be told if he and Shawn hadn't done a thing but sit and wait they probably would have come out a lot less beat up. He certainly wouldn't have to wear a wrist brace for the next six to ten weeks. Juliet and Gus would have found them eventually, but they hadn't known that at the time.

"Hey partner, you awake?"

Carlton glanced over to Juliet, who was finishing up some routine busy work. "I can't believe I did an interview for this." He nodded at the news broadcast.

Her brow furrowed in confusion, "You... not wanting to do an interview? That would be like Charlton Heston advocating for gun control."

"Hey! I'm not that bad!" Carlton complained indignantly, trying to bury his head in some paperwork.

Juliet scoffed. "Says the man who once halted an arrest and asked the criminal if he could take it from the top so the cameras could get a better shot."

Carlton slammed the file he was pretending to read down. "Hey! If you wouldn't have stopped me I could have made the cover of Guns & Ammo."

Rolling her eyes, Juliet let the subject drop.

A half hour later, Gus came through the doors followed by Shawn, who was wearing large black sunglasses.

Finding another outlet for his frustration besides Juliet, Carlton turned to the approaching detectives and quipped. "A little bright in here for you Spencer or is it the constant camera flashes you need the eye protection for?" Much to Carlton's annoyance, the psychic had gotten a bit of good press lately as well.

Shawn frowned and took off the sunglasses, displaying not only one, but two black eyes to match his swollen and taped up nose. "I dare you to look this good with a broken face Lassie."

"He's just upset that I said he looked like a raccoon." Gus shrugged and covertly grinned.

Grumbling something akin to the words "Suck It." Shawn sat down and put his arm around Juliet. "So what's up with the robbers? I demand they get at least one year for every day that my face has to look like Marv from Sin City."

"They just might." Juliet admitted reaching for one of the files. "They've been charged with grand larceny, kidnapping, _and_ attempted murder. Even if they plea bargain down, they're going away for a long time."

"Yep, and we get three less whack-jobs out on the streets. I'd call this a win for justice." Carlton smiled smugly and leaned back in the chair.

Shawn leaned forward in his chair and stood up, "Sooooo... crazy robbers and hostage situations aside, who wants to get some grub? I could definitely go for something cold and delicious."

"You know that's right." Gus was never _not_ in the mood for food.

Juliet showed her consent by rising and grabbing her coat. "You coming partner?"

"I'll be there in a minute." Carlton felt he could eat too and started gathering up his gun, badge and jacket as the other three walked to the exit.

_"... Detective Lassiter, could you tell us what happened during your harrowing and painful ordeal?"_

Carlton glanced up at the television as it played his interview.

_"I do have to say that it was good police work that apprehended the suspects and the officers that assisted need to be commended for their bravery in the line of fire."_ The interviewer nodded as he continued to speak, _"However, it was the intervention of one of our consultants that led us to the suspects in the first place."_

_"By consultant, you mean Head Psychic Shawn Spencer?" _The interviewer clarified.

_"Yes."_ He'd answered simply grinding his teeth at the title she'd used.

Carlton pursed his lips as he watched himself talk, wondering if he _always_ looked like he was eating a mouthful of sour patch kids when he complimented Shawn.

_"So you're saying, detective, that Shawn Spencer psychically led you to the robbery suspects?"_

Carlton had taken a deep breath before replying,_ "I'm just saying that his 'skills' were...invaluable to the case and for our subsequent escape from captivity."_

The scene cut back to the main reporter and she smiled, looking at the camera. _"There you have it, straight from the detective's mouth. Psychic Shawn Spencer..."_

Carlton shut off the TV. He'd meant what he'd said. Shawn had saved his life and, if the cavalry hadn't already been there to rescue them, he would have been the reason they were able to escape. If anything, he gave credit where credit was due, and Shawn had done a pretty adequate job that day.

Guilty conscience sated for now, he walked out of the precinct and joined the trio of, dare he even think it, _friends_ waiting for him outside.

* * *

**END NOTES: I had to throw in the Dr. Who. I mean come on! How often do you get ****_that_**** set up?**


End file.
